its complicated. . .

Why oh is it so hard to trust?? I mean anyone, if you meet a person why is it more reasonable to believe that the person will do you something before believing they'll do you some good. Rough childhoods are grately appreciated by me. . .it Was hard going thru it but seeing how ppl are in this day and age the walls built during childhood stand to take a whooping! But im not saying all of this because im advocating mistrust, im just experiencing some complications. I think ive found the guy! I mean "The Guy" he's everything ive wanted for sometime now(a long while!). Im just afraid of actually being happy and that he might actually be and honest and true soul. I know its far fetched and all but i cant shake the sensation that he might be the man to make me happy and if that is true then why am im sooo worried about his trustworthiness. . .but When i really think about it, its not that i dont trust him im afraid he doesnt trust me. . .i Mean ultimately ppl who have trust issues usually deep down are worried if that person really trust them, and if you cant believe they trust you if you cant be absolutely sure they trust you youll never really trust them. Needless to say he trust me and finds me to be a very moralful young woman and i appreciate that he does, because i feel the same about him but the hoes he spends time w/ when he's not spending time w/ me are truly the ones i dont trust. Its not that i think badly of all woman, its the simple fact that there are more women than men and even in my young age of 20, i feel the urgency to mate off soon before all good mates are . . .mated .. .?? Anyways im concerned that i might be one of those love to be inlove girls and that is certainly not my style, but i love romance. . .what Can i say its complicated. . .

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